Our Christmas tree is still up, with all the gifts unopened beneath them. Christmas Day was when everything nose dived. It definitely wasn't how we planned to spend our first Christmas as a little family, and aligning what has happened with how I had imagined Christmas to be is just... overwhelming. Trying to understand where we are and how we got here and where to go next is impossible right now - we're still just reacting to whatever comes our way. So we've left the tree and gifts and everything where they are. I guess we'll deal with the leftover Christmas and everything else later.