On a stupid cold

Kai has Rhinovirus. Which is to say that Kai has a cold. Which I think would be completely fine in a Neuro typical child... in my little NKH baby it means a&e visits (two so far), an increase in nurse visits (three in the last two days) and a hospital stay. I have no idea where he caught it. We don’t have people over who have even the remotest sniffle. We avoid public transport, we’re rarely out in public. 

But our doctor said it could have been anything. Rhinovirus is an airborne virus. Someone in our building could have coughed down our hallway, or passing someone as we crossed the road. Any innocuous little thing.

But for Kai, it means we’re back in hospital. I have not missed the hospital. Not even a little bit. Being away from Sam, the dingy rooms, attempting sleep on a horrid cross between a chair and a bench. Politely fighting with the nurses and doctors... I don't have The Fear while we're here. Kai isn't having any seizures (thank goodness) and to be fair, apart from the occasional dip in his o2 stats and the added effort he's working to breathe, he's just got a cold. 

However, the on duty GP, the peds reg, and a whole swath of nurses think 'it would be best' if we were in hospital 'just in case'.  Preventative just in case-ness because of all the maybes is huge. We're in hospital, because maybe the Rhinovirus might get worse. Because maybe breathing this hard will tire Kai out too much. Kai is now on antibiotics because maybe, he might get a secondary chest infection (same as the last two non-existent chest infections Kai didn't get. Possibly because of the antibiotics. Possibly because he never would have, who knows?). We're in hospital because all the medical staff have The Fear. 

This bothers me, because Kai's quality of care is a kajillion times better at home, where all the maybes exist just the same and we're a short blue light ambulance away if we need to be. I hate being here. I am sleep deprived, having to do all the meds without Sam around for respite, not sleeping because of the stats alarm freaking out when Kai kicks and the nurses who want to do obvs while Kai's asleep (waking us both) on the hour every hour. 

I hate being in hospital. It's rubbish.