Turning 30

I turned 30 this year. At first I wasn't ready – 30 just seemed SO OLD. Adult-like. 30 is one of those benchmarks where I was meant to have my life together and be married and own houses and have babies and have this big fancy career. By 30 I was meant be successful according to all the rules of society and all the Facebook peer-comparing that I was doing. 20s clearly still for partying, and being frivolous and doing as I please. 30s = serious face. Yeah, no.

My life doesn't feel especially together – I don't have a house, am not married with children and I have a career, but not a big fancy successful one. I have a job and money in my bank account. Fine. It's more than enough for me to do what I want to, but definitely not 30s-serious-face amounts. I hear that this is a decade where I figure out all that stuff out, making my future financially secure. And I can do that, because now I've kind of figured out who I am.

I'm comfortable with myself. Stable. I'm not constantly looking for validation that I am who everything thinks I should be, or worry about applying labels to myself and living up to them. You couldn't pay me to relive my twenties. Or my teens. I've never been so settled as I am now. Comfortable with who I am, and what I do and where I want to go. There are still things I want to do, things I'm working on and places I want to travel and half The List to go. Adventures left to have, but none of them centre around a façade of 'look how awesome I am because I do x'. I've got nothing to prove to anyone.

The only real pressure is this is meant to be the decade where your body starts showing signs of being something other than infallible. If you want babies, the time is ticking. And oh, the pressure. There is so much pressure. Are you having babies? What is the plan? Are you moving back to NZ? Babies? Sigh. I don't know what the future holds yet. Come back in a decade and we can debrief about how that worked all out.

Still, it was a lovely birthday. Presents in bed with Zee. Bubbles at mine with my nearest and dearest and then drinks at our local pub, where they do amazing gin based cocktails (and, swoon, ONLY gin based cocktails) and have some decent beers on tap. The best thing about milestone birthdays is that all your friends feel obliged to come. I had a lot of my favorite people in one room for almost a whole night, and it was glorious. There's nothing like being surrounded by people you adore.

There was much love. There's a lot of pressure associated with aging, but all of that aside, birthdays are the best.

Happy Birthday to meee!