This might be a little bit sad, but what I currently miss the most is not something that's even gone. I miss the present, I think. I haven't left yet, but I'm super aware of everything I'm leaving behind. I drive through the city and wonder if that's the last time I'll do that. I purposely bring up the millions of memories that I have associated with that place.
For example, I was driving through an intersection in Ponsonby the other day. It's where Williamson meets Ponsonby Rd (map). I used to work on that corner. I used to live down the road. I've walked that street a million times in my life. I used to catch the bus down that way when I dated that art student. A boy I adored once told me that he loved me, even though I already knew it, and I didn't love him back. I've walked Quinn in that park, and got professional photos by the sculptures once for my Mum, and have been on so many photo excursions down through there.
I remember lying the grass with a boy, having just recovered after an ugly break up, relieved that we could still be friends. I've had birthday dinners at the restaurant on the corner. I stole a kiss when I was just barely 20, one that started a crazy, mad relationship. I used to sneak out of work to get chocolate chip cookies from the cafe next the antique store. Park my car down the back roads, and have played many games of pool in the pool hall just down the way. With my besties. With people who used to be my besties. With people I rode in the States with. With people I barely knew, and people I loved. I had my first burrito in NZ at the Ponsonby Food Hall, where I also had a first awkward 'morning after' moment. I've walked heartbroken down that street. And elated. And sick and excited and all those things that you feel day to day.
All these things, they flash through my mind when I drive through that one intersection. I remember so much, and I'll miss it.
As I drive through the city, I remember all sorts of things. Not just for that intersection, but for EVERY intersection. I remember how I felt, and what I wanted, and all those moments. A lifetime of moments tied to street corners, places in the city. I'm all too aware that I'm leaving, and I want to soak up as much as I can before I go.
I haven't even gone yet, but what I miss most is home.