This for me is super straight forward: Gay couples should have the same rights as hetrosexual couples. I have a stupid amount of gay friends, and count them among my best and most favourite people ever. They are no less amazing or brilliant or fantastic because of their sexual orientation. It shapes who they are, sure, but it does not define them in a way that should separate them from enjoying the same rights that I myself have.
In New Zealand we have the Civil Union Act, which allows people (both hetrosexual + gay) mostly the same rights as those that are married or in a de-facto relationship. There is no discrimination between the three types of union. And while it does ever so slightly bug me that its not marriage, it does very neatly get around some of the arguments against same sex marriage (mostly religious and traditionalist based). The only downside that I'm aware of is that non-married couples (such as those in a civil union) can not adopt. However, an individual that is not in a marital-relationship can adopt as an individual.
It's a very neat solution, all in all. Gay couples in New Zealand have (mostly) the same rights as hetrosexual couples. And that's (mostly) how it should be.
I think we're pretty lucky to have it like this. While I'm not following the Proposition Eight ups and downs, I do believe that it's not right to discriminate basic rights like marriage based purely on someone's sexual orientation. That's not awesome.
If you haven't seen it already, FCKH8 is an organisation that is fundraising to support groups that lead the fight against Proposition Eight, working for marriage equality across the US.
Warning: So very NOT work safe.