The Sandwich: The New Square?

Platonic Intimacy. A friend of The Third + Fourth Quarters doesn't believe that there can be such a thing. That some people can be intimate with each other without it evolving into sex. She said that The Fourth Quarter wanted more, even if he didn't know it himself. Or that it was a relationship replacement strategy. Or something. I'm a bit fuzzy on the details because I didn't understand. I didn't understand because I'm involved in several intimate, but completely platonic friendships. By intimate, I don't mean sex. I mean meeting up a few times a week, cuddling on the couch, and stroking limbs and sitting close to one another. To spooning, all close, warmth holding you together. Encouragement and introductions to new experiences. Support and talking, the sharing of ideas and laughter. Hugs in supermarkets, and lounging in the sun, eating good food and massages for sore limbs. Or perhaps just limbs that happen to be within stroking distance.

The Square was intimate, like this. And I know, it isn't for everyone, but it worked for us. It worked because while we love each other dearly, as best friends do, we weren't looking for sex from each other. We trust each other, and knew where the lines were and were comfortable within those lines.

And I'm lucky, that The Square was the way it was. Because without their love and support I would have isolated myself. Without the intimacy their advice would have been empty words with no substance. I would have heard without hearing. I would be more broken then I am, because being intimate with them allowed me a certain amount of comfort, and strength to heal.

When half The Square came back from Taiwan, they brought back two other lovely people. People I'd known before, but by some clever wonderful magic they were on our plane of intimacy. And before I could say flash bang, I had a Sandwhich, instead of a Square. Five lovely people who can be perfectly intimate in a completely platonic way.

And I was amazed, because Platonic Intimacy is not something that can be forced. It's not something that can be decided. If one person is not comfortable with it, then sorry, it's just plain not going work. It's not going be platonic, and someones feelings are going to be hurt and it will be uncomfortable and awkward. And I recognise this, there are some people who I'll never be able to be intimate with, platonic or no. Which is why when I think of The Sandwhich, it's all warm fuzzies. Because the possibility of five people coming together, FIVE of them, and having it all work out? That's just phenomenal.

Which is why, when I heard about this friend who said Platonic Intimacy didn't exist, I really wanted to laugh at her. Because it DOES. And without it, times would be incredibly tough for me right now. It's the Sandwhich that's getting me through.