This has been on The List since it’s inception. Let me tell you right now, it was phenomenal, but no where near as phenomenal in my head. For example, in my head I didn’t have secondary degree burns (complete with blisters) to my face. In my head I wasn’t exhausted or sore from climbing Kili. Literally, we got off the mountain, spent one night in Moshi and the next morning? Into jeeps, where we would spend the next three days, easily eight hours a day, baking in the sun.

You can see how that might affect a safari.

Still, it was fairly amazing. That first morning I climbed into the front of a jeep (we had such a big crew that we had 3 jeeps for all of us) and our driver, Steven, was awesome. He was big and cheery and well spoken. He laughed all the time, which made for an amusing safari. He also had keen eyes, and would point out all sorts of things we would have missed otherwise, like dung beetles pushing their little ball of poop down the road, about half the size of your fist (seriously, how did he spot that?). Once he realised that one of us was a bird enthusiast, he started pointing all of the birds, the gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous birds. So many that I stopped talking photos of all of them.

We drove through Tarangire + Ngorongoro Crater, and you wouldn’t have believed all the wildlife we saw. Lions, and elephants and zebra and warthogs and just, it was phenomenal. It was also a bit weird, because for most of it, it was just like watching cows in a field. The zebras graze, and the lions nap and the elephants wander as they please. They ignored you, just like they would in a zoo (apart from one elephant, who was determined she was going to cross the road where she wanted, and the cars could get out of the way). They got pretty close, and really didn’t worry about us at all. We weren’t allowed to go off the road, so we didn’t, but we also really didn’t have to.

The worst thing was that in the beginning, I was all ZOMG ELEPHANTS! OMFG THAT IS A BABY ELEPHANT! and then twenty minutes later, after hordes of them had crossed our path I was all, meh. More elephants. Which kind of blows my mind. By the end of the trip I was excited to see all the animals out in the wild, but it was a bit like at the end of long day at the zoo. You’re a bit tired, and really you just want to go home and nap. Still, reliving it through all the photos and telling people about woke up some of the excitement.

I was a bit worried in the beginning about how our presence would effect the animals lives. Would it change their behaviour? Would it be detrimental to them? Turns out, yes it changes their behaviour. They care very little about cars that drive past them. Also, if some of the bigger carnivores realised that cars were basically cans of sardines packed with soft fleshy unable to run very fast people, I think their behaviour would change even more. However, I don’t think it’s detrimental. As long as people stick to the roads (and safari operators are very careful to stick to the rules, else their permits are revoked) then I think its okay. We don’t leave anything behind us. Also, tourism like this helps bring in much needed funds to countries like Tanzania, and I think the bulk of the park fees go towards maintaining the reservations for the animals and keeping them as safe (as possible) from poachers. I was okay to be there in the end.

So then, how about a million photos of all the animals? These were all taken by me, off the back of the safari jeep. Aw yeah.

Tarangire.

God, what a gorgeous place. It’s all dirt roads and dust and heat. There are ridiculous amounts of elephant here, a mammoth amount. I couldn’t even believe it. There are also the super annoying tsetse flies, the kind that bite. I spent forever covering myself in deet and banging shit around the back of the jeep trying to kill them.

Ngorongoro Crater
Was also a pretty phenomenal place. The view from the top was unbelievable. It was gorgeous! And offered such a range of different ecosystems. It was definitely a highlight. Also, there are designated eating places where you’re allowed to get out of the car. I thought they were fenced, but no way. You watch some lions napping, drive over a hill and have lunch by a lake filled with hippos. Madness. Even more mad was one of our cars got a flat, so everyone had to get out so they could jack it up and change it. We were all, wtf, where were those lions?! It was insane.

Watching the lions was incredible, though. They napped for a lot of it, but when they spied a warthog at a water hole, the started moving. It was a very slow business. A few steps here, and then a lie down. Watching, being very aware of their prey without appearing to care at all. Goodness. We watched about a half hour of very careful and slow stalking. I could have watched all day, but alas. There were other things to see!

What else can I say? The pictures pretty much speak for themselves. It was AWESOME.

So yes. Number 31, done!

When I wrote out The List, way way back in 2009, it came about (if I’m honest) because I was heartbroken. I’d just been broken up with by the boy who I was sure was the love of my life. The One, with the big capital O. We weren’t perfect, but I’d committed myself and I was two feet, all in. When it all fell apart I used The List with all it’s things I could do to remind me how to live. Things that *I* could do that would be worth experiencing.

To prove that it didn’t have to be as serious as it sounds, I put some ridiculous things on the list. Stuff like yelling out ‘Bingo!’ in a Bingo hall or make chocolate frogs. I also put complete a guitar hero song on expert on there. This is a throw back to that boy. We used to play guitar hero, it was one of those things that wove itself in and out of our relationship as we were establishing ourselves and I can’t play now and not think back to him.

Back then it bugged me that he was better than I was, and that he could get five stars on expert. Which is why it went on The List, I suspect. Now? Now I have a ps3, and a host of games, and it doesn’t bug me. I’ve moved on, hallelujah! I still did it, out of reverence to The List, but I didn’t go all out. Bon Jovi, Livin’ on a Prayer, the first and easiest track on Guitar Hero: World Tour. On expert. Five Stars.

Number 36. Done.

Visit the Greek Islands… I’ve definitely done this, but it wasn’t the experience I was thinking of when I added it to The List. In my head, I imagined wandering along little cobblestone alleyways amongst a sea of white, gleaming buildings with cute little blue domes and arches over every doorway. I thought I’d be eating loads of olives, and enjoying epic vistas.

And while there was epic views, and I did eat a few olives (often accompanied by a stupid amount of feta), it’s not like what I thought. Perhaps that’s what you get, when you’re in more touristy spot like Fira, on Santorini.

While I’d love to see Santorini, I haven’t yet. But what I did see was just as gorgeous, I’m sure. I sailed around the Dodecanese Islands, a group of 160ish small little islands in the Aegean Sea (26 of them are inhabited, which was handy). While I know Patmos was gorgeous from the top (oh, the views were breathtaking!), mostly sailing around these little islands, they all looked very brown and dusty. They didn’t have an awful lot of sandy beaches (though we did mange to find some to bbq on), and generally only the inhabited islands had any kind of lush greenery.

Still, every time we sailed into a marina, the ‘greek island’ feel took over. My favourites were the little little tiny places, practically little fishing villages, like in Vathys, or Leros. Places that were extraordinarily cute, with gorgeous views, and cute little boats lined up in the marina, and fun on-the-beach restaurants. The people were fun, always happy to help. Some of the locals I met were always so pleased when I tried to use what little Greek I knew.

Still, I went, and it was brilliant. Our route:

A ridiculous amount of fun. The islands looked like this:

So yes. Lovely, no? There’s another Greece post coming where I talk about what we did, and there are photos that have people in them. But for this, Visit the Greek Islands, I think I can say Number 16 is done! Woo!

It’s cooler than I thought it would be, driving a z4 with the top down along the little country lanes out in Somerset.

But it I did it! 52, done!

PS – Slight caveat, even more novel because I haven’t driven in two years. In London, no one really drives because we have such a rocking public transport system, and having a car in London would not be super smart. So yay! Driving!

Sail a yacht. I did it, and by ‘it’ I mean that I manned the helm for a while. Occasionally I did some winching, or tailed when someone else winched. Fed out some slack as someone else winched, sometimes too.

Me – sailing (or rather, motoring) out from the Lakki Marina, on Nisos Leros.

Sometimes it was hard work, but mostly, when you’re sailing around the Mediterranean/Aegean Sea, it’s really just lying around the boat in the sun. Or, if you’re like me, concentrating very hard on not being horrifically ill, because it turns out you get seasick.

I’m counting this (number 87) done. Woo!

My cousin Morf for my birthday said that he’d help me cross something off The List, and zorbing was it. He, Bunny + I drove the hour out to Dorchester in Dorset while we were in Sommerset to do it. And woah buddy. It. Was. BRILLIANT!

Me + Bunny did the harnessed version first. They strap you in, and you go head over heels over and over and round and round down a hill. Takes about 20 seconds to get down, and woah buddy. There was no screaming. No, instead there was maniacal giggling. Uncontrollable giggles and delight and it was brilliant.

The second trip down we did the hydro version. They threw a bucket of (warm, thankfully) water in, and the three of us, unstrapped, rolled down the hill. I definitely preferred this version. Rolling over each other, down the hill, more maniacal giggling. It was brilliant! It was less brilliant when we had to get out and the wind chilled our wet selves to the bone. Still, I had a great time!

The staff were super awesome (shout out to Kyle + Guy who were hilarious). The set up was low key, but amusing. You wait at the bottom of the hill, and they drive you up when they pick up the Zorbs (these ones were all stamped ‘Made in New Zealand’. Because rolling down the hill in a giant hamster ball is something only a kiwi would invent), you jump in and they push you off. Fun times.

So yes, Number 82, Done!

I once watched my friend learn to play the saxophone, and we spent a good long while in giggles while he made pretty much fart noises while he figured out his embouchure (it’s what you do with your lips and things to make a note with the reed + the mouth piece). Because of that singular, incredibly amusing experience, I thought it was difficult.

Turns out it’s not really difficult at all. My friend Cee had a sax, and when I told her I’d added this to The List, she offered to teach me. An hour or two later (with only a few random fart noises) I was making many clear notes. Fun times!

I didn’t expect it be that easy, so this was taken on my phone. It’s a bit shit, but perfectly demonstrates that woo, #122 – done!

When I was riding my bike to work (in that amazing time before my hip got all nana-like) I’d ride to work through Regents Park. On the outer circle there is a massive trapeze set up with the Gorilla Circus. Knowing full well it was on The List I noted the url on a banner, and booked me and two friends into a beginners class.

It was pretty amazing. They teach you on a low bar how to put your legs above your head and hang on to a bar by your legs. They then put you on a rather high platform, and do the same again. It was both exhilarating and demonstrated my complete lack of flexibility and upper body strength. Well fun. You get a two or three practice goes. And then, towards the end, they set you up for the catch. The catch is where you you stand on a platform and jump off. You swing out, and as you do you put your feet over the bar. On the swing in you let go with your hands, and on the next swing out you’re caught by the catcher.

Now, I’m a pretty determined person (read: stubborn as). When I want to do something, I usually do it. On the ground I was determined that I was going to do the catch. Up the ladder, and on the platform, I was going to do the catch. While I was on the bar? While I was on the bar I learnt a few things about myself. One is that when a lady yells at me to let go of a bar and swing from my legs, my initial, completely irrational response to yell back ‘Woah buddy, not happening’.

Turns out that on a swinging bar a ten metres up in the air as I’m flying in a not especially graceful arc is when my inner coward comes out. Which is a bizarre realisation to have when you’re pumped with adrenaline and feel like you can (and should be able to) do anything. I didn’t fear the fall, because I’d already fallen. You need to, to get down. We weren’t up high enough to fear the height. I knew, rationally, that my legs were perfectly capable of holding my weight, more so than my arms.

My reaction was irrational, and completely instinct based. It was a very bizarre experience.

Still, I got up there, and gave it go, and I’m down with that. When my hip is less painful I’ll try again. Loads of fun, Trapeze. Hard work, though. Using muscles you never use, and expect your hands to be pretty raw by the time you’re done. I had mad calluses!

I’m glad I went, it was well fun. Number 74, done!

The Breakdown. The class is in Regents Park, and you can book online at gorillacircus.com. It was £23.50 per person plus booking fee, and is about an hour and a bit lesson. You’re in a class with 9 others, and you’ll get 3-4 turns on the trapeze. Fun times all round!