Comments on: Blogosphere, your words of advice, please.

By: Al_Pal

Al_Pal — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 23:22:44 +0000

Hey there – just going through my feed reader, finally!

I think you did the right thing. I’m part of a community that has a lot of parties, and over time my man & I have pretty much quit going to them, because some guys have made me uncomfortable with flirting [and don't seem to care that I have a committed partner]. SO annoying, but avoiding drama is definitely preferable.

By: Jasie VanGesen

Jasie VanGesen — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 02:59:45 +0000

self/-preservation sucks, but is better than making the whole night uncomfortable for yourself by going. And in turn, possibly making it uncomfortable for your friends, which wouldn’t have been your fault, but would have probably been the end result. This is a tough one.

@Jasie – oh <3. Yeah, this situation did suck a bit :( The more I think about it, the more that I think that anything else would have resulted in way more drama. It's just hard not to feel like I'm missing out. :( Still, it was for the best, I think. Sigh. Hopefully this situation won't come about too often! Thanks for your comment, hey. :) - elly x

By: ShredderFeeder

ShredderFeeder — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 20:37:15 +0000

Troubleshooting websites can be interesting. ;-)

I think you did the exact right thing. If the situation is going to be uncomfortable for you you’re not going to enjoy yourself. I’m more sorry that your ‘besties’ didn’t understand the situation well enough to exclude this guy from it.

You might ask for a straight answer from them though, it may be one of those ‘he got wind of it and invited himself’ (it happens) and their only blame would be in not pushing back hard enough.

Don’t feel bad about it, “the best laid plans of mice and men” and all that. Just take comfort in the fact that you did what was good for you over and above everything else. That’s a good thing.

@Jesse – oh <3. Sometimes I forget that self-preservation isn't always a selfish thing. :) - elly x

By: Emily Jane

Emily Jane — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 15:06:56 +0000

You handled it just fine lady and I echo what your friend said – looking after yourself at this point is most important in being able to potentially deal with future situations like this – if you’d gone, things may have been awkward and horrible and you might’ve ended up feeling worse. There’s nothing wrong with removing yourself from a situation that has the potential to make you feel bad, and I commend you for looking after yourself :)

@Emily Jane – Thanks chika. Sometimes, even though logically its the ‘right’ thing to do, it doesn’t always feel right. Alas. Thanks for the vote of confidence. – elly x

By: sleepyjane

sleepyjane — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 11:45:22 +0000

I don’t know what I would have done in your situation, to be honest. I do think you did the right thing though. Taking yourself out of the situation, rather than be in it and be miserable, was the right way to go I think. Maybe you could discuss this with your besties when the time is right and get some of their opinions?

@Sleepyjane – Thanks for your thoughts. I did ask my besties, and it seems that we had different ideas about what was going on. There was one suggestion that I should should try again with some support from my friends, but in my head it kind sounded more like ganging up on the guy. And I honestly think that its reached the point where I’m just point blank not comfortable anymore. Alas! Thanks for the support, though. :) – elly x

By: Lys

Lys — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 03:45:53 +0000

oh, also i hope you have more fun biking tomorrow!

@Lys – I totally did! It was brilliant, apart from that I was way too unfit, and that I fell off my bike a couple times. It was definitely pretty exciting! – elly x

By: Lys

Lys — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 03:45:24 +0000

i think you were definitely the biggest person in the entire situation, walking away and disassociating yourself from a situation you feel you should be a part of is no easy task, especially with all that you have going on with the group involved. hopefully your friends understand where you’re coming from and won’t just look at you like a downer because you stood up for yourself. your self-respect is more important than any awkward situation you might put yourself into knowingly. i commend you.

@Lys – oh <3. The worst thing is, even if I did the 'right' thing, I still felt pretty crap about it. Sigh! Thanks for the support, glad you think I did the right thing. :) - elly x