I’m going away, tomorrow. To camp, and drink and celebrate for a while. To forget, too, I think. To ponder what it is I really want. To decide whether I listen to my head, or my heart. To figure out whether my heart really knows what it wants, or whether its just freaking out a little about the unknown. To find out whats important, and whether the past still is.

But mostly, the important bit is that I’m going away. But only for a bit. I’ll be back a week, or two. Hopefully I’ll come back a little more tanned, a little more relaxed and a little more sure of myself. Hopefully I’ll come back with all my friends, too.

Regular posting will be back once I am. Until then, don’t expect to hear from me (I’m gong to be sans-civilsation and any kind of technology, I think).

I wish you all a wonderful New Year.

Last year, I made cookies. This year? Gingerbread. It’s a bit more involved than my usual chocolate-chip cookies. There’s the whole icing thing to deal with (Seriously. I never came away covered in red and green sugar when I was making cookies).

Still, they turned out okay. Let’s hope Christmas does too.

Platonic Intimacy. A friend of The Third + Fourth Quarters doesn’t believe that there can be such a thing. That some people can be intimate with each other without it evolving into sex. She said that The Fourth Quarter wanted more, even if he didn’t know it himself. Or that it was a relationship replacement strategy. Or something. I’m a bit fuzzy on the details because I didn’t understand.

I didn’t understand because I’m involved in several intimate, but completely platonic friendships. By intimate, I don’t mean sex. I mean meeting up a few times a week, cuddling on the couch, and stroking limbs and sitting close to one another. To spooning, all close, warmth holding you together. Encouragement and introductions to new experiences. Support and talking, the sharing of ideas and laughter. Hugs in supermarkets, and lounging in the sun, eating good food and massages for sore limbs. Or perhaps just limbs that happen to be within stroking distance.

The Square was intimate, like this. And I know, it isn’t for everyone, but it worked for us. It worked because while we love each other dearly, as best friends do, we weren’t looking for sex from each other. We trust each other, and knew where the lines were and were comfortable within those lines.

And I’m lucky, that The Square was the way it was. Because without their love and support I would have isolated myself. Without the intimacy their advice would have been empty words with no substance. I would have heard without hearing. I would be more broken then I am, because being intimate with them allowed me a certain amount of comfort, and strength to heal.

When half The Square came back from Taiwan, they brought back two other lovely people. People I’d known before, but by some clever wonderful magic they were on our plane of intimacy. And before I could say flash bang, I had a Sandwhich, instead of a Square. Five lovely people who can be perfectly intimate in a completely platonic way.

And I was amazed, because Platonic Intimacy is not something that can be forced. It’s not something that can be decided. If one person is not comfortable with it, then sorry, it’s just plain not going work. It’s not going be platonic, and someones feelings are going to be hurt and it will be uncomfortable and awkward. And I recognise this, there are some people who I’ll never be able to be intimate with, platonic or no. Which is why when I think of The Sandwhich, it’s all warm fuzzies. Because the possibility of five people coming together, FIVE of them, and having it all work out? That’s just phenomenal.

Which is why, when I heard about this friend who said Platonic Intimacy didn’t exist, I really wanted to laugh at her. Because it DOES. And without it, times would be incredibly tough for me right now. It’s the Sandwhich that’s getting me through.

<3

Last week I thought I was done with my Christmas Shopping. I congratulated myself on getting things sorted early so I didn’t have to wade through the chaos that lives in shopping malls. And then I realised that actually, I’d forgotten some people. They live overseas, see. And they had completely slipped my mind. I almost cried at the thought of fighting my way through stores to find something suitable.

And then I thought fuck it. In the day and age that we live in, it’s perfectly acceptable to shop online. And a friend of mine had recently pointed out endemicworld.com. A cute New Zealand based design store, filled with cute design and New Zealand MADE stuff!

So I poked around and with some difficulty picked a few things out (I say with difficulty, because I often forgot that I wasn’t shopping for me). They arrived on my doorstep the next morning (yay for overnight couriers!) and inside, I was surprised to see not only the purchases I’d made, but a secret santa gift and a handwritten card:

Endemic World had sent me a present too! I was their Secret Santa for the day I shopped. And I was ever so chuffed. So right on for Endemic World, who are incredibly awesome. If you’re looking for cute NZ-based design, check them out.

[disclaimer] This was post was not sponsored by endemicworld.com, they don’t know I’ve written it, and didn’t pay me to write it. They sent me an unexpected secret santa gift in the mail with a handwritten card and I got excited about it. :) [/disclaimer]

We got copies of Quinn’s Class Photos yesterday. Tell me you wouldn’t be a proud puppy parent too.

One of the great things that comes out of corporate giants is their attempt at ‘feel good’ advertising. In attempt to look slightly more humanitarian, Telecom set up a giant Christmas tree made of lights in Western Park. They had four red phone booths where you could send Santa your Christmas Wishes, and they promoted the recycling of phones and something to do with the Starship Childrens Hospital. I have to say, as much as I ignored the advertising, crashing out on some beanbags beneath the wonderful lights to watch the show was AMAZING.

It was one of those moments where Christmas Festivities wriggled its way into your heart and made you all warm and fuzzy.